Things Like This Wouldn't Happen If Stiles Answered His Phone
by Katchia
Summary: Instances in which it is opportune that Stiles answers his phone, and yet is disinclined to do so every time.
1. Lydia

_**From: Beauty Queen  
To: Stilinski**_

You can come pick me up now

_**From: Beauty Queen  
To: Stilinski**_

Even though your car sucks

_**From: Beauty Queen  
To: Stilinski**_

You said I wasn't allowed to walk around at night by myself

_**From: Beauty Queen  
To: Stilinski**_

I don't see why you can walk around in the middle of the night and I can't

_**From: Beauty Queen  
To: Stilinski**_

I have the same amount of werewolves as you do

_**From: Beauty Queen  
To: Stilinski**_

Whatever, just come pick me up

_**From: Beauty Queen  
To: Stilinski**_

I'm freezing

_**From: Beauty Queen  
To: Stilinski**_

Don't ignore me Stilinski

_**From: Beauty Queen  
To: Stilinski**_

You better not be necking with your werewolf right now

_**From: Beauty Queen  
To: Stilinski**_

Someone better be DYING right now

_**From: Stilinski  
To: Beauty Queen**_

hes not 'my' werewolf

_**From: Beauty Queen  
To: Stilinski**_

He speaks

_**From: Stilinski  
To: Beauty Queen**_

jesus Lydia where r u

_**From: Beauty Queen  
To: Stilinski**_

I walked

_**From: Stilinski  
To: Beauty Queen**_

seriously?

_**From: Beauty Queen  
To: Stilinski**_

I own more types shoes than just heels, you know

_**From: Stilinski  
To: Beauty Queen**_

its to dangerous to be walking around out there by yourself

_**From: Stilinski  
To: Beauty Queen**_

where r u?

_**From: Beauty Queen  
To: Stilinski**_

Your's

_**From: Stilinski  
To: Beauty Queen**_

how dare u correct my grammar

_**From: Beauty Queen  
To: Stilinski**_

No, I mean I am at your house

_**From: Stilinski  
To: Beauty Queen**_

u walked all the way there?

_**From: Beauty Queen  
To: Stilinski**_

I don't live that far away

_**From: Stilinski  
To: Beauty Queen**_

yeah which means i could have come and gotten you

_**From: Beauty Queen  
To: Stilinski**_

Yeah, which means you could have come and gotten me

_**From: Beauty Queen  
To: Stilinski**_

Had you answered your phone

_**From: Beauty Queen  
To: Stilinski**_

But you didn't so I walked

_**From: Stubborn Redhead  
To: Stilinski**_

What were you doing anyway?

_**From: Stubborn Redhead  
To: Stilinski**_

Everyone's here. We're waiting for you, since Derek won't let us start the movie without you

_**From: Stilinski  
To: Stubborn Redhead**_

yeah, i know. everyones parked in the driveway and halfway around the block so im trying to find somewhere to park

_**From: Stilinski  
To: Stubborn Redhead**_

they couldn't have carpooled?

* * *

_**From: Stiles  
To: Mr. Alpha**_

ya couldn't have carpooled

* * *

_**From: Stubborn Redhead  
To: Stilinski**_

Well while you're out you might as well go get more pizza the boys have already eaten what we've got

_**From: Stilinski  
To: Stubborn Redhead**_

yeah, might as well since apparently we're not the only ones who party on the 4th of july

_**From: Stilinski  
To: Stubborn Redhead**_

why u gotta be so goddamn patriotic Lydia

_**From: Stubborn Redhead  
To: Stilinski**_

Because it was totally my idea. At your house and all. Did you pick up the pizzas yet? We're hungry

* * *

_**From: Mr. Alpha  
To: Stiles**_

They like to drive their own cars to show off

_**From: Stiles  
To: Mr. Alpha**_

cant they just run like usual

_**From: Mr. Alpha  
To: Stiles**_

I ran here

_**From: Stiles  
To: Mr. Alpha**_

good for you, buddy. thought i saw ur camaro down the block but i guess i was just hallucinating

**_From: Mr. Alpha  
To: Stiles_**

Huh, must have been. You okay?

_**From: Stiles  
To: Mr. Alpha**_

im currently balancing about 10 pizzas on various limbs why dontcha come out n help me carry

_**From: Mr. Alpha  
To: Stiles**_

But the pizza guy just delivered 5 minutes ago

_**From: Mr. Alpha  
To: Stiles**_

I heard that from inside. Aren't there children in this neighborhood?

* * *

_**From: Stubborn Redhead  
To: Stilinski**_

Answer me, potato brain. Erica wants to make sure you got ones without veggies

_**From: Stubborn Redhead  
To: Potato Brain**_

That girl eats a lot of meat

_**From: Stubborn Redhead  
To: Potato Brain**_

Never mind the guy just delivered

_**From: Stubborn Redhead  
To: Potato Brain**_

Stiles, as the Sheriff's son you shouldn't yell things like that out loud


	2. Scott

A vaguely humanoid shape sped through the woods, leaving jagged Scott-McCall-sized holes in the underbrush. The dark shape in front of him paused, close enough that Scott could see the matted fur and sharp claws, and then bounded away, impossibly fast for a creature of that size.

Scott followed it as quickly as possible. Last time he'd looked at his phone (to check that no one had eaten Stiles again and to see if Allison had replied; she hadn't), the time had been 8 o'clock. The moon had since come out, although it didn't make it much brighter as it was usually hiding behind clouds and/or all of the trees that densely populated the forest.

Taking a sharp bend, he skidded in the dirt. The shape raced up a large pile of rocks and Scott followed it over the side, narrowing his eyes. He willed himself to go faster. He shot over a small creek, coiled his muscles, and sprung right onto-

The rope snapped. Scott was flipped upside down, hitting his head as he rose feet into the air.

He groaned. One of the Argent's traps, probably. His earphones fell out of his pocket, landing on the ground a few feet away. His phone tried to escape as well, but he caught it at the last moment, heaving a sigh of relief.

His phone buzzed. He nearly dropped it.

_**Received: 8:25pm  
From: Allison 333  
To: Scott**_

**Goodnight!**

He stuck the phone in his mouth, and reached up to cut the rope from around his ankles, but the moment he touched the rope his hand sizzled. He yelped, and the phone dropped from his mouth. He caught it again, and stuck his burned finger inside his mouth. Ow.

He decided against calling Allison. Asking for her help would just get her into more trouble. That left Stiles.

His number went straight to voicemail.

"_You've reached Stiles. If I'm in class and this is important enough to put me in detention for the rest of the year then by all means! Leave a message! No howling! " _Beep.

"Stiles!" Scott growled, as quietly as possible. "Pick up the phone! I'm in one of Argent's traps. Bring some wire cutters or something; I burned my hand trying to cut it the rope myself. And change your voicemail. You can't _still_ be angry about that; we told you we were sorry _weeks_ ago, and Derek-" Beep.

_**Sent: 8:46pm  
To: The Stinilator  
From: Scott**_

_**stiles pick up ur phone**_

_**Sent: 8:51pm  
To: The Stinilator  
From: Scott**_

_**stiles i am stuck in a trap pls**_

"-stuck in a trap and –huff – I can't actually get out of this one because it starts smoking when I try to touch it? Ouch. Wait…it might have wolfs bane on it or something Sties that stuff can poison werewolves-" Beep.

_**Sent: 9:07pm  
To: The Stinilator  
From: Scott**_

_**stiles**_

_**Sent: 9:13pm**_

_**To: The Stinilator  
From: Scott**_

_**stiles r u ignoring me or r u ded**_

_**Sent: 9:28pm  
To: The Stinilator  
From: Scott**_

_**STILES ITS STARTING TO BURN MY SHOE A LITTLE BIT **_

"STILES PLEASE PICK UP YOU ARE REALLY WORRYING ME YOUR PHONE ISN'T EVEN RINGING ALSO MY SHOE IS MELTING" Beep.

_**Draft saved at: 9:40pm  
To: the Stinilator  
From: Scott**_

_**i can hear somethin**_

Scott dropped his phone. It slipped right out of his fingers, cracking on the rocks below him. Stiles' disembodied voice rang out, loudly:

"_You've reached Stiles. If I'm in class and this is important enough to put me in detention for the rest of the year then by all means! Leave a message! No howling! "_

Scott howled in frustration.

* * *

Stiles awoke to a pounding on his window. He blinked blearily; rubbing his eyes, and fell off the bed. He stood back up and unlatched the window.

"Stiles!"

Scott tumbled into the room.

"Oh, it's just you." Stiles fell back onto his bed. "What do you want this early?"

"What do I _want?"_

Stiles looked up at his best friend. Scott looked incredulously back at him.

"Dude, I called you like a million times last night!"

Stiles sat up. "So?"

"So?" Scott waved his hands around. "I was stuck in one of those traps Allison's dad put up! It had some sort of wolfs bane stuff on it so I couldn't get out of it."

Stiles squinted. "So you're mad at me because I didn't answer my phone."

"You are _always_ supposed to answer your phone. We all call you instead of Derek. He doesn't care. Why didn't you answer when I called you? Are you still mad about last month when we-"

Scott broke off, sheepishly.

"When you broke my phone?" Stiles stood up and patted him on the shoulder. "Course not. Although I can't really answer it without actually having it, you know?"

Scott mumbled an apology.

"It's okay, man. Happens to the best of us. How did you get out, anyway?"

"Once my shoe melted I just sort of wriggled out of it. It took me a couple hours." He grinned. "I got a massive scar, though!" He pulls the back of his shirt down, revealing a bloody scrape.

"Dude, ew, get that off my bed." Throwing a shirt in his direction, he rolls his eyes and opens the door. "Wanna watch Saturday morning cartoons and eat pancakes on the couch? Derek, Isaac, Erica, and Boyd will be back later so we have a couple hours to spare."

Scott pulls the new shirt on. "They left? Where did they go?"

As they walk down the hall, and down the stairs, and into the kitchen where his dad is cooking, Stiles says "Things just go in one ear and out the other, don't they."

"Hey, I can hear you, you know."


End file.
